Rifts in relationship are unable to be repaired until we can admit there has been a rupture. Acknowledgment of the rupture is the first step toward repair.
When one or both people in relationship are willing to say “I’m sorry, we will fix it”, relationship wounds can and do heal. Deep down, we need to know that we matter to the other person, that our feelings and peaceful resolution to what pains us are more important than reasons and excuses for doing or not doing what led to the rupture.
We need to stand in front of the other and fully share how this is impacting us—expressing any anger, sadness, and other emotions. No rules need be reiterated, no blame need be placed, no one has to be right or wrong. We just need to be heard, really heard, and acknowledged empathetically in a way that we feel the other person genuinely understands.
When we can stand in front of another and truly listen, without thinking what to say next, without weaving our own story while we are listening, to be able to listen enough to say in truth, “I hear you, I’m sorry” — only then can we begin to repair the rupture.
We will do this for our partner, and our partner will do this for us. This is what is required of us when we are IN relationship. This applies to all of us. Whether we are together as partners, or as family, in a shared home, in a shared state, country, or planet,…then we are IN relationship! Imagine a world where everyone took this to heart in every level of their lives!